There's a new group that formed specifically to counter the steady flow of bilge emanating from FAAAS (and apparently ASPIA as well).

Learning Enabled, Inc.
P.O. Box 655
McLaughlin SD 57642
learningenabled@westriv.com

Why are there so many groups like this, anyway? I thought most people on the spectrum were lonely and bitter like me....

I asked my partner once if he felt like he needed to join a support group for spouses, but he told me he was totally disgusted by what he'd seen in those groups so far, before I even knew what kind of nonsense was going on in some of them.

Now I'm pretty happy with his opinion.

I disagree strongly with this petition.

First, I should like to point out that Tony Attwood is a member of this advocacy group, here. I'm not sure about the netiquette of targetting another member? Maybe someone could elucidate?

Also, I'd like to point out that it's not the groups themselves which are 'hate' groups, it's some of the stuff they choose to print on their websites, and I'm one of the people who for the last 6 years has been trying to get that filth removed.

The worst offender is Sheila Jennings Linehan, who wrote a truly offensive and disgraceful paper about domestic abuse potential in divorce cases and the unsuitability of Aspergers to bring up children. There is no research WHATSOEVER to support her view, and it is a view TOTALLY OPPOSED to what Tony Attwood believes. Last year, at completely his own expense, and for several weeks of his precious time, he supported me in my efforts to overturn a Family Court decision to have an Asperger son removed from his Asperger mother. I know that he is also handling a similar case in Australia, and is again working pro bono.

Maxine Aston is not a psychologist. She has a degree in psychology and an MSc in Health and counselling. She has invented a 'disorder' in which she has stolen ONE word 'Cassandra' from something unrelated in Tony Attwood's first book, and she and FAAAS between them have turned it into a fictitious 'disorder' called CADD.

Tony Attwood says of this, 'Yes, there can be affection deprivation, it can contribute to feeling depressed but it is not and never can be a diagnosable disorder.'

He cannot be held responsible for the wrongdoing of others.

If ASPIA asked me to speak to them, I would, because I could put them straight about some of the things they publish on their website which are so offensive that it's embarrassing to all of us who have had, or still have, excellent and mutually-rewarding relationships with partners on the spectrum.

So,let me ask you, why don't you take this up with them? Why not ask FAAAS and ASPIA to take the offending material off their websites? Why not target the REAL offenders, like Maxine Aston and Sheila Jennings Linehan?

Why involve a good and honourable man who has no control over these websites? And one who has for many years, tried to educate people as to what Asperger's Syndrome really is, and why it is a perfectly acceptable and natural way to be.

Some of the vicious comment this unwise and inaccurate petition has spawned, not here but on other sites where the witchhunt is at full steam ahead, amount to libel. Some threats to Tony Attwood himself amount to harassment.

It's a real shame that in all the great work that ASAN has done, and continues to do, this petition, with all its inaccuracies, is being touted and sent out to other disability groups.

What on earth are you trying to do?

ASAN has not threatened Dr. Attwood in any way and does not have any ill will toward him.

Oh yeah?

So what exactly does this mean -

Socrates said... Attwood will be speaking with me in Cambridge on May 12th.

(Whether he likes it or not).

I promise you all these concerns will be raised, if necessary at the top of my voice.

There's far, far too much debate, and not enough arse kicking.

The New Republic is committed to redressing the balance.

(edited for spelling)

And what exactly are you doing about it?

And what does this mean (directed at me)?


'So don't get cute with me Jacobs or I'll kick your arse in an entirely non-metaphorical manner.'

Your petition is a highly personal and completely non-objective project. It takes a human being, or two, and asks people to fire guns at them, even if they are NOT reponsible for the gunfire now aimed at them.

It is the most irresponsible and pointless attack ever mounted against people who have throughout their life, supported and validated the rights of people on the autism spectrum to be accepted and honoured in their own right.

You have chosen the tall poppies, rather than seeking out the weeds - Maxine Aston and Sheila Jennings Linehan.

I can never forgive you for that.

Your petition places blame in the places that are high end, with a desire to hurt those who have all their lives petitioned for the rights of Aspergers to be fully accepted and honoured. It's offensive and disrepectful to those who have fought on the side of ASCs.

You're embarrassing yourself. Moreover, you're disrepecting those who cut a furrow for you, and made it possible to be yourself.

Try harder to deal with the detritus. And DO NOT try to get your petitions upgraded by hurting those who have never hurt you, and who have always cared.

Tony Attwood has never hurt you. Why are you trying to hurt him???

You know what,Meg? You're probably right. What the hell do I know?

So, here's the deal.

I've been on the Net all day, and I've copied and pasted all the filth and the threats, and the organised stalking, and the organised harrassment waged against Tony Attwood, and others, and you know what? I've fought against FAAAS and the likes of it for the last 8 years, but whatever they've done, it's not as bad as what you're doing now.

'So don't get cute with me Jacobs or I'll kick your arse in an entirely non-metaphorical manner.'

Call off the dogs. They do you no favours. This is becoming litiginous and sad and stupid. And I know they don't mean it, but hey, you're a lawyer, what do you make of it?

I am on your side. I intend to interview Tony Attwood on this issue. I have copied and pasted some of the rather incendiary views from several blogs.

I'm a journalist. I'm, or have always been, an activist for ASCs.

I hate hate sites and have fought against them. Some here are now turning into haters. Just check this for tasters of what you're doing:

" I would certainly think the wounded would sooner be proved to be wrong and have their faith restored by Attwood and Henault, if that is at all possible, rather than have to shoot them as traitors."

Hey, nice metaphor.

Can you please understand what you're doing? And can you please understand that I will have no compunction but to publicise this, and the threats to myself.

Surely you understand that this is counter-productive. Don't you?

Dr Attwood is a member of this forum.

Sadly you know of no way to protect your membership?

What can I say?

ASAN cannot be regarded as legitimate if it cannot protect its own members from harrassment.

Ya know, I can't believe you're a journalist.  Most journalists I know do know how to quote so that people can follow a conversation.  I can't follow yours for anything, your comments make no sense.

Whatever you publicize, realize that you had better have backup to what you accuse people of doing.  It's not OUR fault that Tony Attwood decided to associate himself with a group that believes in that Cassandra crap.   Unless you do, too?    What, did an Aspie dump you?

You come on MY blog and make nasty accusations, you come on here and make them, and it's really obvious to all of us that you know absolutely NOTHING about ASAN.   Crawl back into your hole, troll.

Oh, and I might add, that FAAAS used to be called Families of Adults AFFLICTED with Asperger's Syndrome.  

It would be good to know if he was involved with them back then, too.

I hate FAAAS. Always have. And no, an Aspie didn't dump me.

Sorry you feel that you have to insult people. I know what FAAAS USED to stand for. I think it still does, despite the recent word change.

I think the Washington Post quoted me on that.

:)

Oh sorry, it was Dig

http://www.weeklydig.com/news-opinions/news-us/200710/bickering-well-others

No, you just wrote a book all about your Aspie.   And you called him Mr. Spock.  Nice.

Maybe you'd like to ask Tony Attwood why he's on FAAAS advisory panel, if he isn't involved with them?

Yes I did. And you know, I loved him and still do. He was amazing and lovely. Best person I ever met. My agent chose the title. Not my decision.

I've asked Tony. He said that he is available to give them advice. But hasn't been asked for any. I'm doing an interview with him next week.

Want to pop any questions?

Thanks, but no thanks, I have all the answers I need.  People don't usually work for or advise groups or causes that they don't believe in.  I don't really want to associate with someone who even remotely associates themselves with FAAAS, let alone take advice from them.

You make your choices, you take the lickins.

"As for taking it up with the "real offenders," as you mentioned in your comment, efforts to get the offending material removed from their websites (including your own efforts) have been going on for several years without success.  There is very little likelihood of any positive changes resulting from a dialogue with them."

I emailed one of those you call 'hate sites' and put ASAN's point of view to them. No one from ASAN had done that. She agrees completely with the point of view, and is removing some of the material from her site, and asking for it to be removed from another site.

That's all you had to do.

BTW, why do you assume that these partners from failed or failing marriages to someone on the spectrum are non-autistic themselves? Isn't that a serious mistake Maxine Aston makes? Why go along with her evil  and dangerous nonsense?

I have sent a lengthy email to Ari about this issue, and the lies that have been told on the internet. He's a kid, an undergrad. I understand that he can't get it together.

But why is he a spokesperson for autism in the USA? I don't understand why this small child is trying to speak on adult issues, without understanding, and with no maturity. Whatever happened to Jim Sinclair? What happened to Phil Schwartz? Clay Adams? Camille? Kathleen? Kev? Even Cube Demon!!

This 'young adult' has taken center stage, and who among you allowed this recent immature and libellous campaign against Tony Attwood?

Who among you is going to stand up and be counted?

The campaign is LIES.How dare it say that groups have been contacted when they haven't?

And the sad thing is that it could have been very good and carefully targetted and HONEST and useful.

I just hate liars, including Maxine and FAAAS. Now including Ari. Sorry.

I have spent a day with Tony, talking about this issue. I have spent many hours talking to Aspia.

I am now really exhausted and dispirited that some people hit others before they have the facts or have considered negotiations of any kind.

That's bullying in my book.

If I can work this through, and discuss it, and gets things done, what ASAN's problem?

Shall I tell you? It's the same bully tactics that created FAAAS. It's like 'I'm really hurt, and you're wrong'.

The pendulum has swung back (as they always do).

We're in the same extremist mode as we were in 1999 with 'hurt women'. I didn't support FAAAS then. I won't support ASAN now.

I can't support extremism of any kind. Or bullies.

Tony Attwood, Ph.D.

A Word from Tony Attwood From the FAAAS website

 

"I would like to state quite clearly that having a diagnosis of autism or
Asperger's syndrome does not render a person automatically incapable ofbeing a good partner and parent. Indeed, many of the people I know with autism and Asperger's syndrome as clients and friends are exceptionally good parents and partners. Should a separation occur between partners and a
Court examine the issue of custody of children and access then in my opinion, any decisions should be made on the basis of the abilities of each parent and not simply assume that a parent with autism or Asperger's syndrome is incapable of being a good parent.

The term "Cassandra Affective Deprivation Disorder" has been coined by Maxine Aston. It is not an official diagnostic category. I do know that stress within a relationship between an adult with Asperger's syndrome and their partner can lead to the neurotypical partner having signs of a clinical depression. Effective relationship counselling by a counsellor
knowledgeable in the area of autism and Asperger's syndrome can significantly improve the relationship and help alleviate the signs of depression.

According to my knowledge, there is no research to suggest that people with autism and Asperger's syndrome are likely to be violent in a relationship to any greater degree than a typical person in the general population. I do know that a significant proportion of the clients that I see in my clinical practice express to me their concern in their ability to manage their temper but we now have programs such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to help those with autism and Asperger's syndrome manage feelings such as anger. Problems with anger management also occur in the ordinary population but the nature of the treatment of difficulties with anger management must include an appreciation of the different experiences and cognitive profile of someone with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I have presented workshops for FAAAS for couples where one of the partners has a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome and in all my presentations, I have approached the issues in a very positive way examining strategies to make a successful relationship."

by Tony Attwood via email, May 8, 2009

I love being an aspie female with T'Pole traits .  If I did not find my most perfect person which is my husband, I would be happy being single than in a bad marriage. People rush into marriage without really understanding the person they marry..this is true of NTs especially.  I believe we are in a parenting crisis where the role models for good marriages are drifting away. We need courses on marriage etc in the schools.  My private school and church had them. I was picky about whom I wanted to marry and had a check list. I rarely dated because the person had to fit my criteria for a date.  After 4 dates in my life time, I met my future husband. He fit 90% of my criteria and that was good enough for me.  No doubt in my mind. I never went out to date just for dating purposes . It was a useless event, I rather stay home watching Star Trek ..  My husband and I both watch Star Trek together for 35 yrs.. not all the time.. but we have a lot in common and a lot not in common and we give each other personal space.  He is an NT and I am an Aspie. My mother was an aspie.. and my dad was an NT. So are many of my relatives and there are no divorces. (although, one should be ~ a battered aspie wife by an NT husband)  So much for FAAAS theories

http://www.aspires-relationships.com/articles_commentary_for_aspires.htm

Here is some of Sheila's blogs... WOW as a barrister, solicitor, AND mediator, she advertises herself as an expert in marriage and psychology, with a definite and unfounded belief that spectrum people are worthless as parents. I wonder if she parks cars too?

"I suggest that misreading one's child's facial expressions could prove very dangerous for that child. (Is he drowning or playing? Is she choking or coughing?)."  Here is a good one from Sheila's attitude assessment.  She quotes many experts and then places her own thoughts as a logical psychological conclusion which NONE of the experts deduced, but she did following their quotes and adding her own unskilled psychological interpretations...   Her personal life should be very very interesting..... continued later

"Most coaches working with individuals charge about $200 to $450 per month for one half-hour call per week. Executive coaches charge more and some clients work with a coach for an hour or two a week. It all works about to about $100 to $150 per hour. Obviously, corporate coaching or programs is more, often running $1,000 to $10,000 per month."

Sheila Seems to be associated with this woman and her coaching company.  They are co  authors of books of coaching.. Am I seeing a lot of $$$ signs? Or are my reading glasses too weak?  I don't see much of Sheila's legal work and blogs and cottage businesses until 2002 or 03. She must have just graduated but that has to be verified. 

I really want to focus on these women who seem to be bullying aspie males and using any excuse for their bullying. In divorce situations, the woman is not always the victim.  In fact , stats show that 40% of women commit adultry in their marriage.. What better way for an adult bully woman with possible disorders which she was responsible for her divorce to blame defenseless men and women on the austism spectrum.  I will be read their things, but I will not purchase their books. There is enough in their writings they place on line to make a good summation. Also they seem new, full of themselves, lacking experience, judgement, and wisdom.  I pity their ex husbands. I can only imagine what THEY went through and I am a feminist.

Meg congrats on your 20 yrs of marriage.... It gets even better with time... Long term marriages are awesome.