Mallrats We Ain't
Published June 14, 2009 @ 01:00AM PT
We don't do malls.
As we live in New Jersey, a state somewhat synonymous, and certainly well-peppered, with shopping malls (covered, plaza-style, outlet), it may seem quite incredible that the three of us basically never set foot in one. Truly, we have no need (ok, except for when I need to get something from the Apple store; having converted Jim to Macs and with Charlie lovin' his iPod, such trips are an occasional necessity) (though truth to tell, I bought Jim's laptop online).
It was a happy moment for Jim when he realized that, instead of having to endure shoe salespeople measuring his feet, commenting on the state of his socks, and trying to sell him loafers he'd never wear, I could get him black slip-ons in just the right size courtesy of OnlinesShoes.com (am now getting Charlie his shoes from there too). Charlie not being too thrilled about going to stuffy department store dressing rooms and trying on pants to see what fits (really, who has fun memories of that?), I'd just as well order his clothes online. We've yet to have to return anything and I can always make sure he has things in the right colors.
Malls---and bigbox stores---are places Charlie is happy to do without visiting. Rob Walker in last weekend's New York Times Magazine commented on the demise of such American shopping meccas as malls and mammoth warehouse-sized stores like Walmart's, BestBuy, and the like:
Talk of American infrastructure tends to focus on inadequacies: roads that need to be repaired or widened, bridges fortified, electrical grids updated. All the more striking, then, that America’s retail infrastructure — its malls, supercenters, big boxes and other styles of store-clumping — has come to be characterized by rampant abundance. This has been a decades-long trend. But it has taken the economic downturn, with chain stores liquidating, mall tenancy slipping and car dealerships scheduled for closure, to focus popular attention on the problem with our retail infrastructure: there is too much of it.
And really, may there be less. Target is the only such store that Charlie will sometimes go into (and, lately, he has been disinclined to). Malls and bigbox stores have all the trappings that are likely to cause terrible sensory overload (fluorescent lights everywhere, disorienting floorplans, shelves and stores of stuff in overabundance) in anyone. Charlie is certainly very sensitive to sound and light. He has pretty much zero interest in any consumer goods on sale at any mall and even less in "malling," hanging, and being appropriately "cool." For him (ok, for us), the mall is a place to be suffered through, and left as soon as possible.
(So generally when I make my trips to the Apple store, Jim and Charlie drop me off and go for a spin to get sodas.)
Charlie seems much more to prefer stores that are built to human scale: bodegas, delis, 7-11s and the like (like a local independent bookstore---yes, they still exist here in the Garden State, chainstores be d*****d). There're many fewer shelves with a manageable amount of items to survey. The exit is easily found. The ceiling is not sky-high and everything is just a little more........personable.
I know of families who practice taking a child on the spectrum to a mall, so that they can be desensitized to the mall environment. But why not redesign the built environment to a properly human scale that doesn't wreak sensory havoc; that is simply more humane?
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Comments (10)
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Author
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Kristina is a Classics professor in Jersey City, New Jersey, a blogger (formerly at AutismVox), a translator (of Virgil), and an advocate every day for her son, Charlie.
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"the mall is a place to be suffered through, and left as soon as possible." Oh boy, I relate. I do not care much for malls. Or rather, I don't care much for several things that come with malls: crowds, lots of noise, big huge confusing place, too many smells, etc.
Speaking of sky-high ceilings... why do they make them so high? Nobody is anywhere near that tall, none of the displays in the malls are even that tall... isn't it just a waste of money/building materials?
Posted by Fleecy B. on 06/14/2009 @ 07:53AM PT
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So they can fit in more stores, try to make more money?...... Yes, too many smells! I always feel like I am lacking oxygen when I'm in a mall.
Posted by Kristina Chew on 06/14/2009 @ 08:24AM PT
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My son's school has taken the kids to the mall on field trips, but they take them to a fun store, rather than just to expose them, and during a less busy time.
My son doesn't mind shopping trips, as long as we keep the cart or his stroller moving. I rarely try holding his hand and walking, because he is a flight risk and would love to run around and pull things off shelves.
Posted by Navidad Arnett on 06/14/2009 @ 09:28AM PT
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We also used to have a lot of trouble with Charlie obsessing on the escalators and elevators at malls. Often, those riding those too many times seemed to be the only reason we were there!
Posted by Kristina Chew on 06/14/2009 @ 11:37AM PT
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We dont do malls that often, back when Nick was into Legos we did for the Lego Store and also the Discovery store - where Matt picked out the same Crocodile Hunter video each time - we have about five of them.
They both like Target and we go first to the movies so Matt can pick one out, been months since went, but with summer and no camp might do that on a biweekly basis if I can afford to.
Nick likes going to book stores, the big chains since the smaller ones dont have his type of books - Glendale and Burbank have some independent ones.
Several years ago we braved the mall at holiday time and just did a few stores and once on Thanksgiving did Toys R Us, when Nick was into building toys and Matt would stay in the video section choosing his favs.
I do online shopping for their clothes and toys. I always see a special ed school bring their students to Whole Foods and just this year Nick was able to tolerate going there - hates the smells, took Matt once and they both dont like going to Trader Joes - too small and cramped. I also see often the wheelchair crew at the mall and the adults with disabilities are always at Target, does not seem to be a program I want my kid to be roaming around stores all tbe time, not really productive or helping with learning skills.
Camp took them to the library, grocery store weekly for shopping and a few would have lists to buy and pay - that helped him learn to calm down. Our grocery store has been remodeled and will have to take him with me in August since we have nothing to do that month - I dont know if I will survive a month long break in this house with both of them, hope weather stays below average.
Posted by Bonnie Sayers on 06/14/2009 @ 09:33AM PT
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That's what I'm saying. Malls can be very overwhelming. I had to work at Macy's at X-mas and having to hear the same Christmas songs over and over and over and over and over is enough to drive a person INSANE.
Though I really wish I had one of those clear egg things with brine shrimp that can last for 10 years without being fed. That's so cool.
Target is nice in the sense that it's not playing cruddy bad music like every place else.
Posted by Shondolyn (Synesthesia) Gibson on 06/14/2009 @ 09:51AM PT
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Sounds, lights and crowds are bad, but one of my biggest issues about being in busy places remains smells, especially people smells, but other stuff can be bad too.
I made sure to know my (clothing and shoes) measurements in about 5 different standards (of several countries) and do almost all my shopping online (I'd shop for food online too if it was reasonably possible over here). It's been years since I made an online purchase that turned out not to fit me.
Posted by Norah vd Stel on 06/14/2009 @ 12:03PM PT
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We used to malls. I grew up with them and took my boys to the malls when they were babies. Now that most malls have areas for kids to play, it was great when the weather was too hot or too cold to play outside.
The sensory things never bothered the boys, in fact Andy loves that the malls echo. But shopping with any kids is not very fun so I loved switching to online shopping. My boys have their preferred clothing types so Lands' End serves us well. And we get shoes online too.
But the boys love to go to Target and Publix (grocery store) and now Barnes & Noble because it is 2 story with elevator and escalators. And Apple store is a favorite with their kid computers. But stores with loud music are avoided even if we pass by one from the outside.
Posted by Sharon Faulk on 06/14/2009 @ 05:15PM PT
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What is it about Target!
Back in December, my parents and I tried to take Charlie to a new Target in California----it was 2 stories and had a silver exterior. He refused to go in---used to the other types.
Posted by Kristina Chew on 06/14/2009 @ 08:53PM PT
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We've taken our boy to several malls in the Atlanta area, and as long as we have a chewy item for him, plenty of snacks and the jogging stroller for him to ride in, he's pretty good. But then, what 5 year old does't need bribes in order to go shopping? He really seems to like new things to look at, but we do have to be aware of sounds and smells. W're careful at the food court, and we'll always avoid passing directly in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. Who needs to lose hearing in order to shop, anyway? And someone mentioned elevators - my boy is obsessed with them, and those are great bribes (No fussing while Mama tries on shoes, and we'll ride the elevator and YOU can push the bottons!) It's also a great place to practice self-help skills, like paying for a snack and getting change, identifying police officers, etc. And in the Atlanta summer heat, sometimes you just need to kill time somewhere wtih a/c until the pool opens!
Posted by Melanie Harper on 06/15/2009 @ 05:55AM PT
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