No Fireworks For Our 4th

Published July 04, 2009 @ 12:39AM PT

Lately my son Charlie has been overwhelmed by sounds. This is still a fairly new development: When he was younger, while other autistic children were putting their hands over their ears and crying at barking dogs, Charlie would be unrattled. It's been in the past year that Charlie has clearly become highly, and painfully, attuned to sounds. Certain sounds---those barks, a metal object hitting the floor, someone's loud voice---has evoked a more extreme response, leading us to think, something literally hurts when Charlie hears those sounds.

Jim and I have been listening very closely to the sounds around us and, with Charlie, cringing at every Harley that passes the black car on the Garden State Parkway and tuning in carefully to the volume and pitch of our own voices. Seeing Charlie bow his head and cover his ears when no one is talking, we've realized that he's hearing everything in the background: Fluorescent lights, air-conditioners and fans, the pool filtering system. Charlie sometimes puts on his iPod and noise-canceling headphones, but sometimes just listening to even preferred sounds seems too much. I've been shopping around for noise-canceling headphones of all types (like the kind you use to mow the lawn with) and stuff like a summer-weight hoodie (Charlie always liked having a heavier fleece one in winter). (Suggestions for dealing with this are quite welcome.)

At home, we can keep things quiet, but none of us (Charlie in particular) could hardly stand just to stay in here: Out we must go, seeking to put a little control on the situation with pictures and schedules, explanations and stories. Still, we can't control every single sound. Ambulances will go screeching by and motorcycles, especially because it's summer, it's gotten hot after a rainy June, and, here in the US, it's the Fourth of July weekend.

Which brings me to the subject of fireworks. The Fourth of July falls on a Saturday this year so it's become the reason for a long weekend, with celebrating starting yesterday (and I heard fireworks even on Thursday night). We won't be seeking out any fireworks displays tonight, but some thunderous noises from the sky are going to be inevitable. Charlie's been curious to see the bright displays in the past, but I'm suspecting he'll have his head down and hands over his ears this year.

As in everything with Charlie, we've been trying to figure out the proper balance between changing and accommodating, and gently seeking to desensitize him to some of the sounds out there. A balancing act it is and one also requiring us to (like any parents) measure out how much to protect Charlie from what irks him, and to coax him into learning to live with it.

But I'm still glad fireworks are pretty much a one-time-a-year thing. It's a noisy enough place out there already.

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Comments (8)

I always liken 'finding that balance' to the childhood games like "Don't Dreak the Ice", "Jenga", or any other game that involves everything crashing down if you don't get it right. Perhaps the best visual representation is 'Operation', where you are trying to extract pieces of the patient's body (like funny bone etc) without touching the sides and causing the patient to 'go off' (red light on the nose). Trying to get something good out of our kids, having to be super careful not to set them off, having to start all over if we 'lose'. I thought it a fun little analogy:

Posted by William Kuhles on 07/04/2009 @ 07:57AM PT
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The plus side of noise sensitivity is loving the sound of birds singing, wind in trees, water running or falling, all the harmonious sounds of nature. When city noises get me too tired, I head for the bush for a long hike to get away from it all. Immersing myself in nature noises is a real antidote.

Posted by Anemone Cerridwen on 07/04/2009 @ 08:09AM PT
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Have you tried earplugs? We like the soft yellow foam ones.

Posted by Maria G on 07/04/2009 @ 03:45PM PT
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My son used to have very sensitive hearing. We had to take him out of the room before using the blender, or he would cry. If my husband and friends cheered loudly about a game on TV, he would cry. He still has somewhat sensitive hearing, but much less so. Now he thinks the blender is interesting. But certain sounds really bother him, such as electric hair clippers -- he can't stand the sound they make, although he doesn't mind blow dryers which to me seem to be louder than clippers.

I remember one fourth of July when he was little and we went to a baseball game that was followed by fireworks. They were too loud for him. My husband and daughter stayed in the stadium while I took our son out to the car. He and I watched the fireworks through the car windows, and from there he liked them. Since we weren't as close and the windows were closed they weren't so loud. Luckily we didn't get mugged, robbed, or carjacked in the parking lot. It was a good evening.

Now he is able to tolerate fireworks. Although he covers his ears, he really enjoys them.

Posted by Twyla Ramos on 07/04/2009 @ 06:40PM PT
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When Matthew was much younger he could not handle going to Kmart in the summer time when they had the A/C on and he would duck when we were near the large air ducts in the store.

Our grocery store had also hung these signs in the checkout lane and he was scared to go into the lane and would duck and look up and had to go around to get to the checkout area.

He does not seem to have these problems anymore, but it was really hard at that time. In Early Intervention he was the one who would look up to see the helicopter, so their theory that he was deaf did not pan out.

We did our two laps around the lake down the street and he is scared of the geese and pidgeons that are also wandering about and goes aound them, same with dogs.

Posted by Bonnie Sayers on 07/04/2009 @ 07:36PM PT
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C went to the fireworks today- he actually did quite well during the fireworks (it was the concert before hand when he tried to take off three times).

When I was little I would have these weird episodes (migraines? seizures? low blood sugar? I don't know) where, in addition to some other strange things, everything would sound very loud, seem very bright, seem to move both slow and fast, and where touch was almost painful. They'd only last a couple minutes, but it was an awful feeling and I am so glad that I outgrew whatever caused it to happen. I would imagine that some people with autism must feel similiar with sensory stimuli- I could barely handle this for a few minutes, I couldn't imagine living with it constantly, or how much feeling like that on a more constant basis could affect my ability to develop, learn, and grow.

Posted by Erin Monk on 07/04/2009 @ 09:42PM PT
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Interesting about those little "episodes"----Charlie (per his EEG) is not having seizure activity. But there are many moments when he pauses and his face changes, and it just seems that something is going on or he's feeling something that marks a need for a slow transition or processing moment.

Glad C did well at the fireworks; we stayed inside last night, did ok.

Posted by Kristina Chew on 07/05/2009 @ 10:14AM PT
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I know the feeling. Firecracks make me jump out of my skin. Ambulances, gum popping. All of these things drive me crazy and make my ears unhappy

Though I did go to a rock concert in a small tavern the other day. You can hear it better with ear plugs I think.

Posted by Shondolyn (Synesthesia) Gibson on 07/05/2009 @ 04:32PM PT
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Author

Kristina is a Classics professor in Jersey City, New Jersey, a blogger (formerly at AutismVox), a translator (of Virgil), and an advocate every day for her son, Charlie.