Autism

On Miscommunication

Published July 12, 2009 @ 02:53PM PT

Damaged telephone pole from http://chronicle.augusta.com/images/headlines/050402/STORM_DAMAGE.jpg
There's been a stream of posts on communication (and an action for accessible communications---please sign if you have not yet!). Communication is one of my favorite topics, whether considering an augmentative device for Charlie or just trying to understand what he's telling us, with words and without.

Charlie communicates plenty, but one thing that's he's not yet able to do is to explain what happened to him. Most of the time, he's either with us or at school, and getting a detailed-enough, honest report about his day has been a long-term effort. We've tried forms with boxes to check off, communication books, and the current system---email. Charlie's teacher (he has the same teacher for Extended School Year as he did during the regular school year) writes to me every day; on the days that she is not in the classroom, she usually gives us a report about what went on the day before. There's usually a comment about "behavior"---something or other usually happens (though I'm happy to report that nothing major did the first week of ESY).

I'd like these emails to be more about what Charlie does or learns, but the reality is that the "behavior business" needs to be documented and anything major written up in an incident report, which we are supposed to receive a copy of. The many things that Charlie is learning and accomplishing often get snowed under. But then I remember some of the notes I used to receive from Charlie's teachers, which were generally positive but really didn't give me any idea of what was going on in the classroom:

Charlie had a great day!!!!!!

He's such a good boy.

Charlie did well.

Have a nice weekend.

Teachers are pressed for time and I doubt any parent expects a literary production! Especially when a child is young and still learning to talk and communicate or if a child is (like Charlie) not very verbal, teacher's notes often feel like my lifeline to Charlie's day.

There are only four students in Charlie's class and as many aides, so his teacher has the time to focus on each child sufficiently. And of course, having a good, open, trusting relationship with one's child's teacher is essential, but that is a topic for a whole other post (and one I'm going to refrain from saying more about at the moment, as we have a district-requested IEP meeting this Tuesday morning.)

It's not only Charlie who has trouble getting his message across---helping him to do so has made me more than aware of my own miscommunications.

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Comments (10)

  1. Cornelia Rivers

    We have the same problem and have settled on a single sheet for his one-on-one aide to fill out daily. It has 3 rating questions (on a scale of 1-5 what kind of day was it: overall, academically, behaviorally) and 3 spaces for short descriptions (events/behaviors, things to work on at home, comments from special educator). This seems to give a pretty good indication of the day, although the idea of not focusing only on problems and not always rating things as "very good" took a while to figure out.

    I think the issue is not only the amount of time it takes to write things down in a communication book, but more that a blank page is kind of scary for a para-professional. There's also a level of trust between the teachers and the aide that needs to be developed. Initially, I don't think they were very happy  with her talking directly to us, but the added task of a daily email was too much for his classroom teacher. She was new at the school and had 22 4th graders and often seemed kind of overwhelmed. So, with few exceptions we got a sheet in his back pack every day starting about 2months into the school year.

    It turned out that the aide was keeping a little pad to write down notes that I think the special educator looked at since she didn't see my son on a daily basis. We got these notebooks at the end of the semesters and I really got good insight into what the days were like for my son and the amount of care everyone in the school had for him by reading them. In a way, I would have liked to have seen them every week, but the fact that I got them twice a year meant that I couldn't use them to micro-manage anything and they were very honest.

    This worked because last year was not a crisis year for us and the IEP team was actually working together as a team. Hopefully next year will go as well.

    Posted by Cornelia Rivers on 07/12/2009 @ 05:42PM PT

  2. Kristina Chew

    That's great the para was taking those notes. We never hear anything from the paras in our district, which is a bit frustrating when the teacher is absent (though, as noted, she usually tells us the next day what happened). But I can see the regular communication we have had with Charlie's teacher being much, much more difficult with a much larger class.  

    Fingers crossed for a good year next year. Thanks for describing the form, too.

    Posted by Kristina Chew on 07/13/2009 @ 07:25PM PT

  3. Reply to thread
  4. Navidad Arnett

    oddly enough, it seems the preschools are the ones that get communication down the best. I remember complaining about lack of notes when  my typically developing, but ADHD, daughter was in kindergarten. I managed a quick chat whenever I picked her up from school... that was lost when they started having the teachers manage the car line... My son's teacher tries her best to give specifics when she can, and they created a sheet where they check off the learning activities. They get described in detail in parent teacher conferences or in parent/teacher meetings, usually when my son's managed to succeed in doing something he hasn't before, or is having particularly challenging behaviors. On the frequent times I either have to get him from school because of an appointment or something or drop him off because he missed the bus, she also tries to chat with me if she has time.

    What I don't get, is why we don't get any note when she's not there, and there's a sub. I dont' know why the parapro's can't fill it out.

    Posted by Navidad Arnett on 07/12/2009 @ 07:09PM PT

  5. ASD momNC

    I feel the same way.  I remember reading a while back about a personal GPS locator that also had a built in digital sound recorder that recorded every sound around the person for a 24 hour period, and thought how that would be nice to have, so I could "play back" my son's day at school and REALLY know what his day was like. 

    He's getting better, little by little.  Today he told us, spontaneously, that his leg hurt, and was able to show us where (bruised shin from a run in with a tree outside).  Things like that are so important to me.  I worry all the time about him being taken advantage of or worse, abused, and not being able to tell me about what happened.

    Posted by ASD momNC on 07/12/2009 @ 08:23PM PT

  6. Janet Ha

    (Voice of a para) In some districts paras aren't allowed to perform "teacher" work such as parent communication.  Anything written becomes part of the permanent record.  Since I work in a high school, parents can check the online system to get a pretty good idea of exactly what their kid is (or is supposed to be ) doing academically.  The one thing you can insist on is clear academic goals, and indications as to whether the goals are being reached, and if not, how the plan will change.  Parents cannot let up on this message, but they also cannot expect a daily briefing on their kid from a public school.  Preschools are mostly private, competitive and have a much higher teacher/student ratio.  Of course they do communication better.  We are trying to help your kid become independent.

    Posted by Janet Ha on 07/12/2009 @ 08:29PM PT

  7. Bonnie Sayers

    our teacher for Middle school that started with 6th grade this past yr fills out the same form that I provided for the Elementary school.

    He specifies what happens daily in Horticulture (elective) and Adaptive PE - usually how many laps matt ran and if he ran around or did gardening.

    teacher gave run down for some or most of the classes -

    English - worked on name, following directions

    Math - practiced identifying #s, using the calendar

    played dominoes

    Vocational - watered plants in garden

    rested in APE

    watched a movie in Horticulture

    this was the last week of school

    earlier in the yr:

    Dec day before vacation break

    Eng - comunication board

    listened to sing along songs

    History - made a pilgrim puppet

    Math - practiced telling time, counting, sequencing #s

    played UNO

    watched a movie in horticulture

    Posted by Bonnie Sayers on 07/12/2009 @ 10:31PM PT

  8. Bonnie Sayers

    same there here within LAUSD - aide cannot fill out the comm form, part of behavior support plan and IEP.

    Posted by Bonnie Sayers on 07/12/2009 @ 10:33PM PT

  9. Jen Niebler

    We've had a great deal of luck with free-form communication books all the way through elementary school- while they did often focus more on moods and behaviours than academic work (incident reports were formal, and separate), I usually received the academic work that she'd completed in a folder at the end of the week and we were always on the phone on either end if goals or accomplishment were veering off of her IEP. 

    I've found that at least in our family, informal communication with the teachers and aides has worked out better in terms of our relationships, which seem to have translated into good classroom atmospheres for her.  Oftentimes it was more important for the school to know in terms of her ability to learn that day that she was going to school upset because she couldn't wear her spring coat, or because she'd lost her favourite hairband or was extremely excited about something.

    We did get an interesting surprise the last few weeks of school when Rachel decided to sit down and read her communication book straight through though- not only because I was impressed with her skill at reading cursive writing, but because she'd never shown an interest in it before, or I think really understood exactly what I was writing about every morning.  Fortunately she now looks at it as a "memory book" of her year, and she's slowly working her way back through all of the communication books that we've kept.  But it was a good wakeup call to me that (much as I have always tried to involve her in decision-making for herself), I now have a young lady who is becoming more and more capable of participating in her own plans and decisions and has the right to know about communications about herself. 

    We'll see how communication works in high school next year- while it seems likely that we're going to have the same relationships with her two teachers and aides given our first few meetings and tours, I have a feeling that communication is going to change radically due to different regulations.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Posted by Jen Niebler on 07/13/2009 @ 03:43AM PT

  10. Ecki Stern

    It always seems everyone is afraid to write anything in the communication books because it is "official documentation". Every now and then I'll get a nice detailed of Kayla's day. Fortunately I pick her up once a week, so I can get a better feel for how she is doing. Wondering how communication will be when we enter Kindy in September.

     

     

    Posted by Ecki Stern on 07/13/2009 @ 07:35AM PT

  11. Cheryl White

    my son is being offered an alpha smart at school to compensate for his poor handwriting, which of course stems from poor core strength and poor fine motor control.

    I would much prefer he receive services to eliminate his handwriting issues, but what can I do?  He's ambulatory hence he doesn't qualify for help at school with anything remotely OT related...

    Posted by Cheryl White on 07/14/2009 @ 07:05PM PT

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Kristina Chew

Kristina is a Classics professor in Jersey City, New Jersey, a blogger (formerly at AutismVox), a translator (of Virgil), and an advocate every day for her son, Charlie.

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