Three Mothers

by Kristina Chew

Published April 02, 2009 @ 12:18AM PT

One of the top highlights of my trip to Greece was meeting Marilena and Emma, two mothers (you can read more on Marilena's blog----though my modern Greek has a long way to go, for me to read her post and no, I prefer not to resort to Google Translator). I "met" Marilena, who is Greek, a couple of years ago via my old blog, Autism Vox. I emailed her while I was in Greece and met her and Emma, who is British, the last night of my trip.

Marilena, Emma and I sat in the lobby of the hotel where I was staying with my students. I'd just actually met them, and I was far from Charlie and Jim, and I'd been immersed in things with my students on the trip (two students came down with a flu/bad cold in the midst of the trip, and various other matters that might occur with 15 college students traveling around Greece on a tour bus and staying in different hotels for a week during Spring Break). But the conversation with Marilena and Emma was as familiar ever: Get three mothers of special needs kids together and there's too much in common, we could repeat each others' stories.

The laminator and the rolls of velcro. (I have a big bag of velcro right by my left foot underneath my desk right now.) Teachers who are well-meaning but who could maybe attempt something more than coloring, and coloring. A child really into cakes. A child in a state of extreme unhappiness in the most public of public places, from stores to the street to the metro. The interesting, and sometimes delicate, and sometimes uncomfortable, responses of family members. The future: What about housing; who will take care of our kids?

Marilena and Emma told me a lot about schools and services in Greece: There aren't that many of either, and they're hard to come by. I don't enjoy working my way through the phone trees and bureaucratic obstacles in trying to get through to New Jersey's Department of Developmental Disabilities for services. I gathered that a day, if not days, were required to do the same in Greece, and that bureaucratic hoops were never-ending. There are (correct me if I'm wrong!) currently two schools for autistic children in Greece; there's a center instructing children and their parents about PECS in Athens. Services for adults----housing, employment---seem to be very much up to families.Emma had been researching community microboards and housing options in the UK and we talked about options that existed, such as they are and aren't, and about the need to band together, to prepare our children for when we're not there.

Conversation, that is, swung between the poles of the, may I say, adventures of daily living to the constant worries of the future. Pretty much what I think about all the time and yes, even while I was in Greece, away from Charlie. I wanted very much to meet Marilena's and Emma's children and am hopeful that there can be a next time (or maybe, Marilena and Emma, if you're reading this, you might visit the US......).

It is, as you've no doubt heard, World Autism Awareness Day today. I've been reading about autism in Saudi Arabia and in China. I kind of feel like I already had my day. The title of my course was "Ancient Greece and Greece Today" and I'd wanted very much to find out about autism in Greece and I can't say how happy I was when I heard from Marilena and from another mother, Angeliki, who I unfortunately was unable to contact before leaving). Yesterday I wrote about isolation and how often we've felt we had fallen deeply into it. Talking to Marilena and Emma made me feel that matters close to home and heart matter to many others elsewhere, everywhere, all across the world and that we're all on a long journey to doing the best for our kids.