Posts by Meg Evans
Disability Rights Victory in Maryland Family Law
Published June 10, 2009 @ 10:22AM PT
[Ed. Meg has been covering family rights issues.]
Governor Martin O'Malley has signed new legislation, following its approval by the state House and Senate, to prevent discrimination against people with disabilities in Maryland family law proceedings by ensuring that an individual's mental or physical disability cannot, in itself, be sufficient grounds for denying custody of a child to that individual. Under the new law, a disability can be considered only if specific facts in the record show that it has some relevance in determining the best interest of the child.
This is a very welcome development in light of our society's long and shameful history of denying people with disabilities the right to marry and raise families like any other citizens. Ari Ne'eman, president of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, recently discussed such discrimination in family law and relationships when he wrote:
"The eugenics movement is one of the most well known examples of this dangerous and unethical means of discriminating against people with disabilities, as is the related idea that disabled people are inherently unfit as spouses or parents. In the name of these kinds of stereotypes, people with disabilities have been deprived of parental rights and discriminated against in divorce and child custody cases for generations."
Although the struggle for equality in family law and relationships still has a long way to go, the passage of the Maryland law shows that increased awareness of disability rights issues, brought about by informed and socially conscious activists, is successfully accomplishing real changes in law and society.
The Language of Love
Published May 20, 2009 @ 04:00PM PT
[Ed. Thank you Meg for this guest post]
Today my husband and I are celebrating our 21st anniversary. Our son, who has been studying engineering at an out-of-state university, is home for the summer. Our daughter is finishing up her junior year of high school. It's a bright sunny day, and there is a bird chirping happily just outside the window. I feel blessed to be in this moment.
We met as students in the campus arcade, where by chance we both liked the same video game. He was quite talkative and had a large group of friends, while I was less outgoing. Despite our differences, we got along well. By the time we got married, we had known each other almost five years, and we rarely disagreed on anything of major importance.
Our most significant challenge was realizing that we sometimes misread each other's nonverbal communication. Much of the meaning in a conversation can come from the voice itself, as Kristina Chew recently wrote. I tend to speak in a rather flat tone that may not fully convey my emotions. Sometimes when I was feeling tired or stressed, my husband would misread my voice and react defensively, thinking that I was angry with him. I would then notice his change of tone and start feeling defensive myself, mistakenly assuming that he was upset about something in the actual words I had said. It took quite a few "But I wasn't angry!" conversations before we learned to always give each other the benefit of the doubt in this regard.
As with any marriage or relationship, we have had to put active effort into understanding each other and accepting differences. In my view, this is not necessarily harder to do when partners are from different cultures or when one partner is Autistic, although communication issues may be more noticeable. After all, there are many kinds of adjustments that have to be made for any relationship to succeed, and not everyone is going to perceive the same ones as being easier or harder.
Carol Grigg Responds to ASAN's Concerns about ASPIA
Published May 13, 2009 @ 10:30AM PT
[Ed. Meg's previous coverage of this issue here and here]
Over the past few weeks, the Autistic Self Advocacy Network has found support within the Change.org community for an action supporting ASAN's petition telling Dr. Tony Attwood and Dr. Isabelle Hénault to disassociate themselves from prejudiced groups that falsely portray Autistic people as unfit to be parents or to have family relationships. Drs. Attwood and Hénault have not as yet done so, and we intend to make it crystal clear that our community will not tolerate their associations with hate groups such as FAAAS that advocate discrimination in family law and exclusion of Autistic children from the public schools. Direct action such as protests at conferences and other events will continue until sufficient action is taken in response to our concerns.
Carol Grigg of the partner support group ASPIA currently is engaging in dialogue with ASAN, however, and she has indicated that she plans to add more balanced information to her website and that she supports the rights of all people to be judged on the basis of their actions. She has removed an article from ASPIA's website that suggested there was a "potential for abuse" by Autistic adults in family relationships and has offered to include more information from the Autistic community that can help couples and families. We hope that ASPIA will henceforth promote a constructive approach to improving family relationships that acknowledges the need for both partners to share responsibility for communication difficulties, while avoiding stigma or blame. We plan to continue our dialogue with ASPIA and are seeking input from the Autistic community with regard to additional steps that should be taken to create a positive environment for family and relationship support.
ASAN greatly appreciates the willingness of our Change.org supporters to speak out for Autistic civil rights and against prejudice and discrimination. Committed people working together for a cause truly can bring about change in the world. There is still much work to be done to improve society's attitudes toward people with disabilities and to ensure equal rights for all, and every one of our voices is needed.
Direct Action: ADAPT at the White House, Tony Attwood Update
Published April 30, 2009 @ 09:54AM PT
[Ed. Two guests today, here's the first--]
Throughout the history of civil rights movements, direct action such as a street protest or sit-in has been widely used to draw public attention to injustice and the failure to correct it. A century before ADAPT members chained themselves to the White House fence demanding that President Obama keep his campaign promise to quickly pass the Community Choice Act, suffragists did the same as part of their efforts to gain voting rights for women. Labor organizers walked the picket lines and, in the early days of unions, often were beaten by police and by management's hired thugs. Black civil rights activists marched for equality and sat defiantly in the front of the bus, knowing that they were likely to be jailed.
All of these struggles were criticized at one time or another for being overly dramatic and going too far. Protesters often were told that they should just be more patient and wait for gradual changes to take place, instead of being so confrontational. The same argument sometimes is made today.
What the critics overlook, however, is that by the time activists engage in direct action, their attempts to discuss the issues politely and quietly have already been ignored for a very long time. Disability rights advocates have been trying to pass the Community Choice Act, or similar legislation, for the past 40 years. Their efforts have gotten nowhere because politicians did not expect any consequences for their failure to treat disability rights as a priority issue.
Likewise, the Autistic Self Advocacy Network's recent decision to take direct action against professionals who associate with dangerous hate groups was taken only after many years of our community's concerns being ignored. Waiting for gradual change has not gotten us anywhere. The hate groups have only grown bolder in their attempts to incite prejudice and discrimination in family law and other areas.
Accordingly, in a protest on April 24th at a presentation by Dr. Tony Attwood, leaflets were handed out explaining the damage done by hate groups such as FAAAS and the ongoing campaign to put an end to it. Similar protests at future events will continue until Dr. Attwood publicly withdraws his support for hate groups and apologizes for the harm done to our community.
For more information, please read these recent blog posts about the Community Choice Act protest and about ASAN's End The Hate campaign, and visit the following action pages:
Community Choice Act in Health Care Reform!
Pass the Community Choice Act with Comprehensive Health Care Reform!
Tell Tony Attwood and Isabelle Hénault to disassociate themselves from hate groups
Constructive Dialogue: ASAN's Petition to Tony Attwood and Isabelle Hénault
Published April 20, 2009 @ 04:00PM PT
[Ed. Thanks to Meg for this guest piece on a critical issue and action which she is much better able than me to do sufficient justice.]
Ordinarily when couples go for counseling, they are advised to respect the validity of each other's perspectives. In order to have a constructive dialogue, they are told, it is necessary to stop placing all the blame on the other partner and, instead, to examine the root causes of the misunderstandings and look for ways that both partners can contribute to positive solutions.
This process of constructive dialogue is very important when the partners come from different cultural backgrounds. Because of their cultural differences, they may misinterpret one another's word choices and behaviors, finding meanings that were not intended. They may not share the same expectations for their relationship. On the basis of faulty assumptions, they may at times see the other person's perspective as hostile or irrational. When this happens, they need to talk about their differences in neutral and nonjudgmental terms.
Such misunderstandings also can arise when one partner is autistic and the other is not. They may have different expectations and may fail to understand one another's perspectives, just as with any relationship in which cross-cultural issues are present. Psychologists and other counselors who work with such couples should emphasize the importance of mutual respect and acceptance of each other's differences in working through their problems.
Unfortunately, there are organizations calling themselves support groups for non-autistic partners, such as FAAAS and ASPIA, which take the opposite approach and put the blame on the autistic partner. They are following the lead of British psychologist Maxine Aston, who asserts—without benefit of peer-reviewed research or any professional recognition whatsoever of her claims—that the non-autistic partner suffers from what Aston calls "Cassandra Affective Deprivation Disorder" as a result of not having his or her needs met by the autistic partner. According to Aston and the groups that promote her Cassandra claims, the autistic partner must therefore change to meet the non-autistic partner's needs and expectations. The blame for the relationship's difficulties and the burden of making changes all fall upon the autistic partner, who is not recognized as an equal partner with valid needs and expectations of his or her own.
Both Tony Attwood and Isabelle Hénault have presented at several conferences sponsored by FAAAS, in which they spoke about autistic relationships and sexuality, and they recently gave presentations addressing these topics at a conference sponsored by ASPIA. Moreover, Attwood and Hénault are both members of a professional advisory panel that consults with FAAAS' board of directors. This is very concerning to the Autistic Self Advocacy Network and to many people in the autistic and cross-disability communities because FAAAS has a long history of stereotyping autistics and people with neurological disabilities as irrational, violent, abusive toward their family members, and incapable of adequate parenting. Articles containing similar hate speech also have been posted on the ASPIA website.
Although these concerns have been raised privately, no suitable response has been forthcoming. Accordingly, ASAN has created a petition calling on Attwood and Hénault to sever their ties with FAAAS, ASPIA, and all Cassandra hate groups, and to issue a public statement and apology acknowledging the harm caused by their involvement with these groups. Disability stereotypes and other hate speech cannot be part of a constructive dialogue.
